Healing Traumatic Grief: What It Is & Somatic Tools for Coping
- Rebecca Rinnert
- Nov 4
- 5 min read
Grief changes everything. When loss arrives suddenly, violently, or under traumatic circumstances, it doesn’t just break the heart — it overwhelms the entire nervous system. Traumatic grief therapy and somatic grief healing offer pathways to help you move through this pain with compassion, safety, and embodiment.
In this article, you’ll learn what traumatic grief is, how grief and trauma intertwine, and which somatic tools can help you find your way back to stability and connection.
What Is Traumatic Grief?
Grief is a natural and necessary process. But when loss feels unbearable, shocking, or unsafe, it can evolve into traumatic grief — a fusion of mourning and trauma.
You may notice yourself feeling:
Numb or disconnected
Unable to accept what happened
Trapped in intrusive memories or vivid images
Physically tense, exhausted, or restless
Afraid to feel, because emotions seem too intense
In traumatic grief, the body and mind remain stuck in survival mode. The loss is not only emotional — it becomes somatic, imprinted in the nervous system. That’s why traditional talk therapy alone often isn’t enough. Healing requires involving the body.
Why Grief and Trauma Intertwine
Our nervous system is wired for protection. When faced with trauma, it releases stress hormones, contracts muscles, and prepares for fight, flight, or freeze. If a loss occurs within that state, grief becomes fused with fear.
Even after the event is over, your body may continue to signal danger. This is why people experiencing grief and traumaoften describe feeling stuck, anxious, or emotionally frozen.
Somatic grief healing helps by gently re-educating the body — teaching it that the threat has passed, and it’s now safe to feel and release.
Grief vs. Traumatic Grief
Grief | Traumatic Grief |
Gradual adjustment to loss | Feeling frozen in the moment of loss |
Emotional waves that come and go | Constant hypervigilance or collapse |
Ability to recall memories with warmth | Avoidance, numbness, or panic when remembering |
Acceptance grows over time | Healing feels impossible or unsafe |
Recognizing the difference allows you to choose the right kind of help — such as trauma-informed grief therapy — that honors your body’s pace and boundaries.
Somatic Approaches for Healing Traumatic Grief
1. Grounding in the Present Moment
When you feel overwhelmed, pause and orient yourself. Feel your feet pressing into the floor. Look around and name five things you see. These small grounding gestures signal to your body: I am here. I am safe enough to feel.
2. Pendulation: Moving Between Pain and Safety
In somatic grief healing, pendulation means allowing gentle movement between sensations of pain and comfort. You might notice tightness in your chest (pain) and then shift focus to the warmth of sunlight on your skin (safety). This back-and-forth flow helps integrate emotions without flooding your system.
3. Tremoring and Physical Release
Practices like TRE (Tension & Trauma Releasing Exercises) or gentle shaking can help discharge stored survival energy. As the body releases tension, the nervous system begins to regulate — creating more space for authentic grief to surface.
4. Breath and Soothing Touch
Place one hand on your heart and breathe slowly through your nose. Feel the rise and fall beneath your palm. Touch communicates safety to the brain and supports emotional regulation. Somatic touch and mindful breathing are core elements in traumatic grief therapy.
5. Reconnection Through Movement
Movement is medicine for grief. Yoga, mindful walks, or slow dancing reconnect you to your body’s natural rhythm. Each step or stretch tells your body: Life continues. I am still here.
How Often to Practice Somatic Tools
Consistency matters more than duration. Five minutes of gentle grounding each day is more effective than an hour once a week. Notice how your body responds — if you feel dizzy, detached, or anxious, pause and return to the sensation of your feet or breath.
Healing traumatic grief is not about doing more, but about doing less — slowly, safely, and with presence.
When to Seek Professional Help
If you find yourself unable to function, experience intrusive images, or feel constantly unsafe in your body, it may be time to seek trauma-informed grief therapy. A therapist trained in somatic grief healing can guide you through body-based regulation, emotional integration, and meaning-making.
You don’t have to face this alone. Support helps your nervous system co-regulate and rebuild trust in safety.
Gentle Somatic Practice: The Heart Anchor
This simple practice can be done anytime grief feels overwhelming:
Sit or lie down comfortably.
Place one hand on your heart, one on your belly.
Inhale through your nose for four counts, feeling the air expand your ribs.
Exhale softly through your mouth, releasing tension from your shoulders.
Whisper: “I am here. I am safe enough to feel.”
Stay for several breaths, noticing sensations without judgment.
With time, this practice teaches your body that presence and safety can coexist — even with pain.
Finding Meaning After Loss
Traumatic grief can transform your relationship with life. Many people eventually find deeper compassion, new purpose, or quiet gratitude alongside the sadness. Healing does not mean forgetting — it means integrating the loss so love and grief can coexist.
Through somatic grief healing, your body learns to trust again. It becomes a vessel not only of memory but of strength, tenderness, and aliveness.
FAQ: Traumatic Grief & Somatic Healing
1. Can trauma make grief worse?
Yes. When the nervous system perceives the loss as dangerous or overwhelming, trauma can block the natural grieving process. The body stays in survival mode, preventing emotional release.
2. How does somatic therapy help with grief and trauma?
Somatic therapy works through body awareness, breath, and movement. It helps regulate the nervous system, discharge stored tension, and restore the body’s capacity to process emotions safely.
3. What is the difference between traditional grief therapy and somatic grief healing?
Traditional grief therapy focuses on thoughts and emotions; somatic therapy includes body sensations and nervous system regulation. The combination often brings deeper, longer-lasting healing.
4. How long does traumatic grief therapy take?
There’s no fixed timeline. Healing depends on your body’s readiness, support system, and sense of safety. With consistent practice and guidance, many people experience relief within weeks or months.
Final Thoughts
Healing traumatic grief is not about moving on — it’s about moving through. The combination of traumatic grief therapy and somatic grief healing offers a gentle, body-based pathway to release pain, rebuild safety, and reconnect with life.
Your grief is not too much. It’s a reflection of love, and love is what makes healing possible.
About the Author
Written by Rebecca R., psychologist specialized in complex trauma, PTSD, and somatic therapies (Somatic Experiencing®, TRE®, and trauma-informed yoga). Rebecca helps individuals process trauma and loss through safe, body-centered approaches that honor each person’s unique rhythm of healing.
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