Domestic Violence Is Not Just Physical: Recognizing the Hidden Signs and Starting the Healing Journey

“It wasn’t physical, so I thought it didn’t count.”

What We Often Miss About Domestic Violence

This is something I’ve heard many times in my work with survivors—and something I once believed myself.Domestic violence doesn’t always leave bruises. In fact, some of the most painful forms of abuse are invisible.

At its core, domestic violence is about control—through fear, manipulation, and isolation. It affects people of all genders, ages, backgrounds, and cultures.

5 Forms of Abuse That Are Often Overlooked

Many survivors don’t recognize they’re being abused because the signs are subtle—or because they’ve been normalized.

Here are five common, non-physical forms of domestic abuse:

• Emotional abuse: Name-calling, gaslighting, shaming, withholding affection.

• Psychological abuse: Intimidation, threats, isolation from loved ones.

• Financial abuse: Controlling money, sabotaging employment, withholding resources.

• Sexual coercion: Pressuring or manipulating someone into sex, even within a relationship.

• Digital abuse: Monitoring phone use, demanding passwords, tracking locations.

If something consistently makes you feel unsafe, silenced, or small—it matters.

Why People Stay (And Why That Question Misses the Point)

You’ve likely heard someone ask: “Why don’t they just leave?”But this question overlooks the complex reality of abuse.

• Fear: Of retaliation, losing children, or not being believed.

• Shame: Abuse thrives in silence.

• Trauma bonds: A psychological attachment that forms in cycles of affection and fear.

• Lack of resources: Financial dependency or no access to support.

• Social pressure: Cultural or familial expectations to “keep the peace.”

Leaving is not an event—it’s a process. And it requires safety, support, and compassion.

How Abuse Affects the Body and Mind

Survivors may experience:

• Chronic anxiety or depression

• PTSD symptoms or dissociation

• Autoimmune flare-ups or chronic fatigue

• Disordered eating or body image struggles

• Trouble setting boundaries or trusting others

These are not signs of weakness—they are signs of survival.

In my practice, I help survivors gently reconnect with their nervous system, their voice, and their right to feel safe in their own bodies.

When the body is constantly under threat, it adapts to survive—but often in ways that eventually cause harm.

A Personal Note From Me

I know this topic not only as a professional—but personally. I have experienced abuse in my own life, in my first relationship. For a long time, I questioned myself, minimized what happened, was ashamed and thought it was my own fault.

Healing wasn’t linear and just happened overnight or by just ending the relationship (which was very difficult). But it did happen—step by step, breath by breath. Through trauma-informed therapy, body-based healing, and the support of people who believed me, I began to feel safe again. To trust again. To exist in my body without fear.

I share this not to make it about me—but to remind you: you’re not alone, and it’s not your fault. There is nothing wrong with you. And healing is absolutely possible.

How You Can Help Someone in an Abusive Relationship

If someone opens up to you:

• Listen without judgment—don’t pressure or rush them.

• Believe them—even if it’s hard to hear.

• Respect their pace—they may not be ready to leave.

• Avoid advice-giving—ask what they need.

• Share resources—gently, when it’s safe to do so.

You don’t need to fix it—you just need to be a safe place.

Domestic Violence Support Resources

If you recognize yourself in this article or feel something isn’t right, please don’t hesitate to reach out. Confidential, free support is available:

• 🇨🇭 Switzerland: 0800 33 66 55 – opferhilfe-schweiz.ch

• 🇦🇹 Austria: 0800 222 555 – frauenhelpline.at

• 🇬🇧 UK: 0808 2000 247 – nationaldahelpline.org.uk

• 🇨🇴Colombia: Linea 155-Free 24/7- casmujer.org

• 🇩🇪Germany: 08000116016 (multilingual, 24/7)- hilfetelefon.de

• 🇺🇸USA: 1-800-799-SAFE -  thehotline.org

You deserve safety. You deserve support. You are not alone.

How I Can Support You in Healing

I work with women and survivors who are navigating the aftermath of abusive relationships—offering:

• Trauma-informed therapy that honors your story and nervous system

• Somatic healing tools like TRE and Somatic Experiencing

• Help with anxiety, chronic symptoms, disconnection, and boundary-setting

• A calm, respectful space—online, private, at your pace

You don’t have to explain everything right away. You just have to start where you are.

Book a free discovery call with me

FAQs About Domestic Violence

Q: Can emotional abuse be as damaging as physical abuse?

Yes. Emotional and psychological abuse can deeply impact a person’s self-worth, nervous system, and long-term mental health—even without a single bruise.

Q: I think someone I know is being abused. What should I do?

Offer your support without pressure. Say something like: “I’m here for you if you ever need to talk.” Avoid pushing them to act before they’re ready.

Q: Is trauma therapy really helpful after abuse?

Yes—especially when it includes body-based (somatic) approaches. Trauma lives in the body, not just the mind. Therapy can help you feel safe, grounded, and more like yourself again.